Keep the Change

Life is all about the ebb and flow of people and events in and out of our lives.  Growth and change are so necessary and essential to living, and yet they are the two things that humans collectively seem to run from the fastest.

I saw this post on Facebook today:  Honestly, it would not have mattered to me either way, left no impression, except for the fact that so many people had left comments, mostly in opposition.  Why does it matter if we have a new stoplight system or not?  I don’t think it really does, but innately, the thought the change causes us to tense up inside.

I’m not going to lie, I was looking at it and initially my head was screaming, “NOOOOO!!!! This is stupid!  We can’t change the system!  What’s wrong with what we have? Then everything will be different!”  When really, I couldn’t care less what the stoplights look like as long as people follow them and I don’t get “T”-boned.

Change is hard.  It causes us to grow, to exit the comfort of familiarity that we love so much.  We become stretched to our limit, sometimes outside of it.  However, if we allow it, change can make us stronger.  Change can help us become the best version of ourselves.  It can lead us towards holiness.

This reminds me of a story I once heard about a butterfly.  It was working its way out of its cocoon.  This process is a grueling one, and takes many hours of struggling and work to emerge as a beautiful butterfly, with brightly blossomed wings.  A man was walking by and saw the butterfly entangled in the cocoon and decided to help the butterfly along.  So he peeled away the cocoon and the butterfly was freed.  Only, the butterfly’s wings were not fully developed and it was not able to fly away.  The struggle of emerging from the cocoon helps to build a butterfly’s wings and the butterfly is able to become what it was created to be.

Change can be painful.  Change can be grueling.  But in the end, if we have allowed ourselves to grow and develop within it, we emerge on the other side a fully blossomed creation.


Life Happens

It has been one heck of a two weeks here at the McNutt house. I’ve just come to expect the unexpected this month. That’s all I can do. Several events have left both Wade and I in a deep funk, trying to reclaim our life goals and dreams, trying to make our way back to the lighted path in life, really just trying to be normal human beings again.

I’ll give you a brief overview,  just so that I’m not talking in code.  Wade plays music at our church 3 Masses a weekend, every other weekend.  So, Halloween weekend was an off weekend…FAMILY DAY!  We loaded up the kid and the dog and went to the pumpkin patch.  We took some cute pictures and picked some small pumpkins, met some nice people.  But most of all, we had a really nice family day.  Until we left.  As we were leaving, not even a block up the road from the farm, we were hit.  Out of nowhere.  Thank God, the three of us were okay.  Just sore for a few days.  And, really, it didn’t phase Evalyn at all.  But, Godiva jumped out of the truck and has been missing ever since.  Giant bummer. (Don’t worry, we have been on the search and several amazing people that live that way are keeping an eye out and searching, and she has been spotted a few times, giving us hope that she is still alive.)

So, recovering from the wreck is still happening.  Wade and I are both jumpy in the car.   But, because of Godiva, I have been back to the wreck site a few times and there is healing in that.  Many hours have been spent searching for a deaf white dog in cottons fields.  Yes, I know, sounds really ridiculous, it is.

And then Wade got violently ill last Friday.  And it took several days for him to recoup.  (Thank God for a fantastic mother-in-law that helped watch Evalyn so I could dog-hunt while Wade slept!)

I’m only telling you all of this so that as I reflect on where we are right now you won’t be totally in the dark.  But with all of these events (plus some that I don’t even want to get into) we are having a really difficult time re-focusing on life and jobs and ministry and dreams.

It makes me wonder what lessons we are supposed to be learning.  Here are a few that come off the top of my head.
1.  Don’t be attached to things.

Currently we have one less vehicle, a missing dog, and Ev’s Milton was chewed by a dog…(don’t worry we are getting a new one soon!)  Three things that are/were important in our lives and yet we are still surviving (even if it is more miserable some days.)
2. You can only plan so much, and then life happens and you just have to go with what it gives you.

I really like this one.  I think I like it because after about the third thing happening in a row I realized that I can do my job, and take care of my family, but the scheduling is not always mine.  Or really, ever mine…
3. No matter what, don’t lose sight of your dreams!

This morning Wade told me, “I think I’m in a funk because I’m not sure what my dreams are any more.”  I honestly think that being in a car accident and getting sick for three days has more to do with it, but he makes a good point.  When we lose sight of what our dreams are, we forget what we are working towards each day and then the work becomes pointless or mundane.   Working towards a dream makes even the crappy jobs worth it!

So, I am writing today to start working towards dreams again, to work my way out of the foggy daze and to let my soul heal itself through words.

For all of you waiting to hear pieces of my novel…it hasn’t happened yet.  A bummer, I know, but in light of recent events my time and energy has been going to other places.  Even if I don’t get to write with the NaNoWriMo crowd, I plan on setting a goal for myself when the clouds settle down around the Nutt House.  Stay tuned!